Rubrika: My Life

Grindr became unusable. I quit.

It’s like a casino without a jackpot. Only annoying ads. Sometimes hookups. But probably no chance to find a real partner there.

In my country we have a thing called “dry Feb.” It’s usually connected to taking a pause from alcohol. I usually do it to have a month-long break from watching p*rn. Which I’m doing now too.

But probably an even bigger time-waster, soul-breaker, and dopamine-destroyer for me has been Grindr recently.

I’m 35 now. I started late. I was with a boy for the first time when I was 28. Since then I’ve been using Grindr. I realized on a daily basis. I probably became addicted to it. Curious about the detox and side effects.

I always hoped I would find “the one” there. Maybe I would meet him because we would share similar preferences in bed. But maybe it’s an illusion. I know people who met there and became life partners. But maybe even they had a different “go on a date first” approach.

I became too lazy to even do that. Even via the other apps. Not a conspiracy theorist here, but is it really in their interest to make us quit by finding a stable relationship?

And what became so annoying with Grindr recently is that you can’t even find a relevant hookup there. They’ve limited who you can see so much that if you’re not physically in the city center, it’s basically impossible to find someone relevant.

In the free version you can’t even use filters. I used to do that trick of setting the age to a 1-year category (like 18–19, haha), but then they limited it to 5 years (18–23, 24–29, 30–35 or so). Basically impossible to use other filters.

And the ads. These pop out at you right away. You click on a message and bam—you can’t see it and reply. You either need to wait and try to—very often unsuccessfully—switch it off. Or them off. Or restart the app, which I almost always did.

Or you can pay. But the prices are absolutely insane. I would be willing to pay 2–4 euros a month. Maybe. But not over 20. And you don’t even get the full version for it.

So bye bye Grindr. See you in March. Or never.

Get better. Or let someone create a real competitor. Available even in Central Europe.

What is your experience? When did you lose patience with Grindr? Are there better apps? Or should we come back to meeting life partners in the real world again? How did you meet your life partner?

Why I Write

It would be nice to be able to make a living from writing and finally feel free. But as Derek Sivers reminded me in his text: it can be something like an art—like a self-perceived meaning or purpose, maybe even useless to others.

But I read and think a lot, so I want to give something back. To inspire others on how to live better lives. To try to improve the world and make it a better place.

As John Strelecky reminded me: it is not who we are that we dare to write and share with the world, but who we are if we dare not to do it.

I was also inspired by the author of Tiny Experiments and her blog Ness Labs. So this is one tiny experiment.

Why this? Why now?

The end is near—or it might be. You never know. Memento mori.

Our lives and the world might be on the wrong path. As intellectuals who often think about these things, we have a kind of moral obligation to try to mitigate risks and inspire each other to aim for a better, realistically optimistic future—like Dario Amodei outlined in his essay, and like the futures imagined in Star Trek and The Orville.

What kind of community am I looking to build here?

Well, probably one of like-minded people. People who care about personal growth without the nonsense, built on real-life experience and backed by science. People who are curious about life, the future, AI, and our society. And people who love sci-fi and want to live in better versions of it.

I will also cover topics connected to my sexual and romantic orientation. I’ll touch on nutrition and a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes politics, but hopefully not too much.

How often will I write?

Well, it depends. No stress here. I would be happy to publish at least one article per week—or at least once a month. Not on any regular schedule, mostly when I have something to say and feel like sharing it with you.

Why launch on 2nd February, Groundhog Day? Well, I love that movie. And yeah, I was busy figuring out some preparations in January.

I decided to use this pen name. It has deeper meanings, which I may explain later. I want to be as free and authentic as possible, avoiding self-censorship. It would be harder if I used my real name.

I am a real person, though. And yes, I will use AI—not to generate texts instead of me (what would be the point?), but to help me create more readable texts and improve my English along the way.

I hope you will enjoy this journey.